Men with issues

This is for all men who display symptoms of the following chronic maladies, commonly referred to as issues*

Issue No 1 – Commitment issues

The common misconception is that men are the only ones who suffer from this, correction, we are very much afraid of commitment too. After all we need to be in constant fear that the man with the commitment issue might after two years of supposed commitment suddenly wake up and realize he has an issue with commitment. Yeah also you think we don’t worry about getting our heart broken because we happen to be made of steel?

Issue No 2 – Pointing fingers

Have you ever met a man who has the urge to point out someone else in the crowd who supposedly likes you? That’s because they think we are stupid and we don’t get the hints. Or maybe they are scared that we’ll get the hints so pointing out someone else with feelings is a good way of covering up their unsure and un-communicated feelings. Even writing this is confusing…

Issue No 3 – They’ll be there, always

You refuse to be someone’s girlfriend, the man in question pours out his heart, says he’ll be there no matter what, even if it means helping get the crush that you want so badly. Are you plain stupid or what? We don’t like you and no we don’t need you to be around, in fact we just want you to get lost, like out of vision and peripheral vision.

Issue No 4 – Thinking of you only as a friend

Oh friend! Like a friend whom you call all the bloody time or text or meet or go to every party with because we are just friends and that’s what friends do. Sorry my bad for misunderstanding.

Issue No 5 – Can’t get over the ex

She got over you. Is there any reason to be hung up on her?

Issue No 6 – There’s someone out there waiting for me

How would you know, if you keep missing her? Yes that’s right, you missed her when she waved at you on the sidewalk, you missed her when she called and you hung up, you missed her when she came to your rescue when you had one of those awful meetings with your ex…now she’s gone because she stopped waiting for you. Next time stop and ask for directions, it’s actually a pretty manly thing to do.

Issue No 7 – I love you

5 years after I loved you. 5 years too late. Now I love someone else. Wake up, love takes a different meaning every year, you just missed out. Maybe there’s someone waiting for you, wanna check?

Issue No 8 – Cheating

Such a terrible problem isn’t it? Remember anyone can cheat, doesn’t take much to find a man or a woman these days, it’s just hard to find a person you love. So think a hundred times before you cheat.

*I believe there are few good men out there who are tested negative of all common diseases, so this is a rant only for those men who happen to be in my life.

He proposed

In these desperate times of need I wish with my whole soul, heart and mind that Fuzz was here, not somewhere in that cold, dank and weary side street in Central London. It’s been sometime since Fuzz and I had a chat, a chat about our insecurities, gossip, men, love and the frivolous antics of our other buddies who live in different parts of the world.

This time the conversation stemmed on one scene, her proposal. Excitement in the air, fingers gripping the phone, I dance around my room in exhilaration. The news, such happy news. I’m a girl after all and marriage is a cause for great rejoicing and an excuse to bounce on my bed.

“He proposed, on one knee and all”. Fuzz without leaving any room for breathing.

“Oh how boring!!”. Didn’t mean to say that but the words tumbled out, dampening the excitement like the cold harsh weather of the bitter monsoon. Fuzz being Fuzz decided that the statement deserved an explanation, especially since it was such a mood killer.

So I begin my tirade of how I find the whole going down on one’s knee such a cliché. It’s hardly creative, isn’t love supposed to be full of surprises?

“I guess, maybe something like honey, meet my new girlfriend! Now that’s a surprise, isn’t it? “ Fuzz really had to comment on that one.

I continue while trying to ward off her giggles. I mean come off it, be serious. How exciting is it if he goes down on one knee and proposes to you at a restaurant? You can see that coming from a mile away, if you can’t, your myopic. It’s different though if he made a complete fool of himself and proposed in some crowed mall. But most of all I’d prefer a scavenger hunt. I think that’s an awesome way to propose.

“What about finding the ring in the Champagne or other alcoholic substance?”  quips Fuzz.

Urgh! I’d hate that, if I were nervous I’d gulp my substance, choke because of the damn ring and be dead before saying yes. Sounds romantic eh?

Fuzz grew silent at that, I could almost hear her heart beating. She is in an awfully contemplative mood and I kick myself for being a killjoy. I apologize but she laughs and tells me that she thinks a scavenger hunt is a good idea…

“ A good idea for what?” I scream.

Apparently it’s a good way of accepting the proposal. Oh goodness gracious me, she didn’t say yes because she wanted to build suspense and accept in the most creative way….  She’s such a tease! And I love her and wish her the best for her future with this man who’s sitting there bursting many a blood vessel.

…

My mind with its twists and turns,
change directions at the slightest burn.

Why do I always fall into a mess?
Why am I always hanging onto a thread?

Wishes turning into nightmares,
emotions as fickle as my hair.

I guess it’s time to put an end,
to a primal mating dance,
one that I can’t quite comprehend.

Another goal achieved

So we won. Not one but two of those awards that we’ve all so desperately wanted. What’s especially exciting is that I won one too, something that I wanted badly and now I’ve achieved it. Wow a sense of achievement is running through my veins.

Now to call my family and tell them the good news. They’d be so proud of me, a little of the limelight shall fall on me, today…

A lazy day at work

I think black looks cool on my nails. It gives me a gothic edge. After The Girl Who Is Our Intern decided to paint my nails for me because I was bored, I ran around office sticking my fingers at everyone who crossed my path. Nanabanana thought I had caught a disease that was slowly making its way to my toes and Pokey nearly had a heart attack. He hates it when I paint my nails, says that girls should have the natural look. I agree with makeup but not with nail varnish. Now to freak my mom…

The trip

Its been sometime since the last time I did a trip up north. This time 27 of us from church visited Kurunegala. An area infested with rocks and foliage, which meant lots of climbing, walking and wading through undergrowth. To the utter horror of the pack of girlies present I screamed with glee. What a perfect weekend!

The bus ride was extremely uncomfortable because we were all cooped up with baggage in hand, but me with my claustrophobic inner self managed to survive the 2 ½ hour ride.

The highlights of the trip

- the time spent walking around with people I just met, getting to know them, admiring their simple and humble lives and wondering whether there’s part of me that’s willing to sacrifice my comfortable existence.

K’s story about her life really made me stop and think, she spent 8 years in Hong Kong, earning a lot of money but she and husband never really found any satisfaction. They realized in time that their life was meaningless and decided to do what they could to help people. So they left the comforts of Hong Kong and took up residence in a remote part of Kurunegala. Even though family and friends thought they were crazy (which happens to be the most common reaction in Sri Lanka) they are happy because they’ve found satisfaction that money couldn’t give them. I thought that story was encouraging.

- the time spent with the 4 girlies and 4 guys under the responsibility of the family we were staying with. The chats that lasted throughout the night, the boys trying to scare us with their choking (lame but fun), playing carom and the ginger tea at 12:30 in the night. Thinking about it makes me grin.

This trip has been a learning experience and a bonding session. So I’m glad that my weekend was simply perfect.

What’s with the stars?

The stars were bright that night.

I tilted my head back to admire them shining in the velvet expanse.

Then I looked down and admired them shimmering on the glassy surface of the waters.

Then I looked at his ring.

I needed to know.

I needed to know how that ring could protect him from the devastating blows that life has in store for him.

That’s how it all started about horoscopes. Frankly, without beating around the bush or the round table in my case, I decided to let him know that I didn’t believe that the stars have the power to encrypt our lives. He shakes his head and says that whatever the stars revealed that night he was born was in fact, true. My turn to roll the eyes and shake my curly head in disbelief. I pout in contempt and continue the conversation for well over 2 hours. Still I’m not convinced about the astrological aspects that can pinpoint flaws and the path to perfection. It’s such a strange belief. Here’s my reckoning of the whole notion.

The star sign is determined when your born, calculated by the time of birth. Then you fall into one of the 12 signs. Now these 12 signs supposedly contains all the traits of a human being. So lets just say that I was born at 12:15 on a particular day, which means a 101 babies would also have the been born at the same time, in the same country, sometime it could be the same hospital. So does that mean the 101 babies would have the same traits regardless that they were born to different parents. I get a fishy feeling here!

Leave that alone, now this is the other issue that I have. No ones born with a personality or traits for that matter. It’s the environment that shapes and makes us the people that we are, so then why oh why is the trait chart given when you’re born?

I have yet another issue with this seemingly meaningless notion, how does the constellation have the power to predict the future?  Or rather how does the person who’s predicting the future find the answers by looking at the sky? If they can predict that there will be a bad time (usually it’s work related, family, money, relationships…simply generalized answers) in the near future (heck I can do that too) but can’t pinpoint what exactly is going to happen, then why believe in such stupid predications.

I do know that it’s a fact that people who believe in horoscopes usually suffer the outcomes that were predicted and do you know why because it messes with your brain. Like I tell myself over and over again don’t blurt out random meaningless things and that’s what I do because it’s in my mind and the mind plays tricks. So if your horoscope says you’ll have a bad relationship, honey, then your gonna have a bad relationship. Get what I’m saying?

Oh and stones can’t protect you from evil, sorry your parents have been lying again

When realization hits that ignorance isn’t bliss

How does it make you feel?

I’ll tell you how it made me feel. Then maybe you’d like to share. 

It was pretty much like a jolt. An embarrassing one, like when you turn a corner and a friend of yours jumps at you, and you scream making everyone turn. Then your cheeks get all red and you yell at your friend just to save face. People tend to think it’s funny. I do too but not when it happens to me. Well that’s pretty much how I felt when I watched the Kite Runner. Have you watched it? 

Have you watched Batman? I bet you have. I went around asking my friends the two questions I have just asked you. 9 out of 10 have watched Batman and have liked it so much that they’ve watched it twice over. 1 out of that 10 watched the Kite Runner, and that happens to be me. It strange don’t you think that people are so interested in comic books than what really happens in the world. I guess people need entertainment to keep sane than watching 9 o’clock news or wait maybe it’s just that ignorance is bliss. Is it? 

I knew there was a war in Afghanistan from flicking through the papers to read the gossip columns. I also heard a few things now and then while channel surfing, never letting my fingers linger too long on the news channel. Forget Afghanistan, my country, the war ravaged Sri Lanka. I flick, because my life hasn’t been in that kind of danger, yet. So I live life with a cursory glance at what’s really happening. Terrible isn’t it?

As strange as this may sound… I want to do something about it. Oh no I can’t stop the war nor can I make the whole world listen to me. That’s the very thing I don’t want to do. I could though show more empathy. Listen to people more carefully. Forgive often. Talk to everybody. Offer to help, anytime. Stop being selfish. 

It’s tough but its better to understand humanity that stay disconnected from it.