To all the gays who dare cross my path

I dislike* you’ll. Really. Truly. And genuinely.

That doesn’t mean I’m racist or gay-ist because I don’t want you’ll dead or have you’ll tortured or call names or avoid you’ll like the plague**. I just don’t want same sex marriages legalized.

And for the sake of my sanity I would like you’ll to know a few things:

Please do not discuss your escapades during lunchtime. It puts me off my food. Since I have the courtesy of keeping things private, I expect you to do the same. That is also why I don’t want gay marriages legalized, then it would be a normal lunch conversation and I can’t slap you with sexual harassment.

Just because you’re gay don’t think you can get away with sexually harassing a member of the opposite sex.

Sexual harassment includes anything that makes a person feel uncomfortable. So talking about the intern’s yeast infection makes not only the person who has it but the entire room uncomfortable.

If you were normal and depressed, I’ll listen. If you’re gay and depressed, well that’s why you have psychiatrists.

Don’t pull the sympathy card because you’re recovering from depression. I have my own problems and no one grants me a 3-month paid vacation.

Also do please stop shouting in street corners and on the beach, there is enough noise pollution.

With this post I’m guaranteed to lose a few friends and most probably my job, oh what the heck I just had to say it…

*Hate I’m told is a strong word.

**But I’d like it if you’ll avoid me like a plague though.

Sun, fun and the not so fun

So I went and met the parents. I traded stories with the mother, had a Gin and Tonic with the father, gossiped about the lack of decent men with the sister and played softball barney with the nephew.

None of the above is true, obviously. In this day and age my expectations were just expectations.

I left home armed with my specialty pudding to show the family what a culinary goddess I was, but the vehicle my friend chose to drive was a steaming oven, so the once nice work of art turned into sludge, which after a very abrupt brake decided to land all over my jeans. Yes jeans and a tee was what I decided to wear. S laughed so hard because the substance that stained the crotch of my jeans reminded him of something, which he refused to tell me. Anyway after wiping it off along with the angry look that had made its way to the upper part of my anatomy, I went to face the awkward introductions. It didn’t go off bad and I found it funny when Cookie’s sister managed to serve me the drink first when clearly there were 10 others who should have got it before me. After casual awkward mingling, we decided to go on a boat ride on the canal. That was fun, in parts and places. We came back and stuffed ourselves with food; for once I enjoyed the food, in fact I loved it. The boys were very gracious with their comments about my leftover pudding and I wholly appreciate it. Makes me want to cook more. After that we played games, which we fought over and I evicted Cookie because he’s a sour loser. Went to the beach, came back and went home. So it was nice, and the family wasn’t anything like the Adam’s Family. Dang!

Onto other news, the Great White One left. I managed to blink away the tears and hold a wide smile throughout the goodbye speech. He was a great boss even though I had many an argument with him. The department organized a day out sailing as a final goodbye and it was the best Saturday in a long time. I absolutely loved it even though I’ve been taken sailing before. This time the guy who took us didn’t let us loiter in the water, he got me to tack and it was fun and tedious because we had to keep moving when the boom kept swinging. Also he got me to arch my back out of the sailboat, so basically I could feel my hair touching the water. Loved it. I also managed to kayak a few times, ran around playing fetch with Lucy and Nugi ( Springer Spaniel and a Dachshund), played pictionary and went on a speed boat ride. Did I mention that it was the best Saturday in a long long time?

Just a few days ago I also met up with my O/L computer batch. They’ve all grown up, become disconnected, some a little more blond than they were before. I was just glad that I met them, at least I know where they are and what they look like but I don’t think I’d be good friends with most of them like we were back then.

Yeah that’s it.

If you leave me, I’ll never fall in love again

Familiar words? Those men never fail to amuse me.

The last one who cried not too long ago, perhaps a little more than a year now surprised me completely out of my wits. When we were together, not to-gether and every other time he was virtually living as a voice inside my phone whined about how he’s the loyal type, bound to a girl like glue. That’s why he took 3 odd years to get over his ex and his misery at that time was directed at me because he’d take forever to get over our incomprehensible relationship. I laughed. Scoffed. Then held the phone far away from my ear.

One year and two months later he’s married!

Maybe I’m easy -to -forget material. I shouldn’t have laughed so hard.